brie3po:

janebuzjane:

thoughtkiller:

clavid:

eloquentvibes:

clavid:

on the bright side i am not addicted to crack cocaine

On the downside I’m too poor to afford one.

one crack cocaine

hello drug dealer yes i would like to purchase one crack cocaine please

debit or credit

I actually have a gift card

(via thedomain)

895,798 notes
So we were sitting in class today

lokisprotege:

margaretthemagicdragon:

and my U.S. History teacher was trying to get us to understand why it was such a big deal that England had put a tax on colonial sugar, and he goes,

"What if you had to pay a tax every time you logged onto wifi?"

And the whole class just went

image

and I heard at least two people whisper “I would murder someone”

The perfect comparison. 

(via purpletoasterapples)

147,339 notes
theraichujesus:

annethecatdetective:

This little girl is going places.

herhmione:

pussy-destroyer3000:

can-i-be-your-favorite-bird:

it’s very frustrating being a girl and trying to flirt with other girls like. you tell them, ur cute. ‘Aw thank you’ no. no i’m being gay with you. homo intended. damn it

I’m not even a lesbian but this made me laugh

r u sure pussy-destroyer3000

(via purpletoasterapples)

237,067 notes

ruinedchildhood:

Bikini Bottom just got real..

(via purpletoasterapples)

128,261 notes